Total Impact House

A new batch of beds arrived at the house a couple of weeks ago.  I’ve been told that no matter how much furniture fills the house, it’s still no match for the amount of excitement as more girls make the Total Impact house their home.

As of this week, every single girl is enrolled in school with the exception of Joyce.  She was thrilled to be admitted into a catering program offered through the Red Cross.  This is no small event and evidence of the powerful transformations taking place in their young lives.  Six months ago, only one girl wanted to continue with her formal education.  The others were still eager to learn life skills, but didn’t think it was possible to go back to school.  They were too far behind, they thought, and had lost hope in attaining a degree long ago.  Clearly, hope has been restored.  The girls tested in at levels ranging from 5^th grade up to a junior in high school!

Blake informed me that he will be showing the girls your video tomorrow.  They’ll love it and readily answer your questions.  I imagine they will have a few questions for you as well.   I can promise you TA, your relational participation in this journey has made a big difference.  Knowing that they’re cared for and being cheered on to success has made this house full of girls do crazy things—like believe in themselves, go back to school, and encourage the girls still on the streets not to lose heart. 

They are already being examples, and this has earned them and the Total Impact House a great deal of respect in the community.  The ripples will continue beyond our ability to measure.  I would think that is the very definition of having a total impact.

Holidays are supposed to be a time when everything comes together.

The weeks leading up to late December come with this belief that we can ascend past all struggles. We can make everything right, seemingly perfect.

The idea certainly isn’t a bad thing, but it doesn’t always work like that.

When things don’t exactly work out, people get mad. Really mad. Sometimes people get mad just trying to make the holidays fit that idyllic fantasy. Hearing about a person losing his life when others are determined to be the first to buy a gift has got to be the farthest thing from the “holiday spirit.”

There were no gift-related deaths this year and some of the big retail stores learned their lesson.

But a question remains. How do we make sure as individual people that something like that never happens again?

Perhaps that accident happened in the first place because we don’t exactly look at holidays the best way we can. Maybe we get selfish. Maybe on some level we only want great change for ourselves. It brings to mind an old biblical saying, “If I am not for myself who will be for me? And If I’m only for me what am I?”

Thinking and acting for yourself doesn’t make anyone a bad person. But if we get so narrow that we forget we have a strong ability to help those around us with simple acts, we might find ourselves without support if we need it.

There has to be balance somewhere. If nothing else, we can keep an eye for situations where we can help ourselves and others at the same time. Buying gifts from charitable organizations to give to your loved ones, whether during the holidays or not, is one really simple way to achieve that balance.

Purse of Hope set up shop at Total Attorneys toward the end of December to sell goods made by the women living in the Impact House. In just a couple hours over two days we raised almost double the money raised throughout the entire Hyde Park Jazz Fest.

Let us find the clarity to see chances where we can both help ourselves and others in need. And in doing so, we can show people we help that they can lend us a hand just the same.

Purse of Hope Booth at TA from Total Attorneys on Vimeo.

The girls have been working on several dramas and dances.  In this picture, they’re practicing one of the dances they’ll be performing for Ed and Ashley.  Blake has reported that the girls are all very eager to meet them and excited for their visit.

The new school term is about to start.  Most of the girls want to go back to school, but don’t have the academic requirements to enroll.  We’re hiring private tutors and checking into a few local schools that accommodate nontraditional students.  Blake and Pauline are assessing each girl’s case individually then finding the perfect fit.  I imagine most of them, for now, will be tutored in the home as they continue to learn new skills and vocational training.

Last Friday Kelly and Sarah, your friendly co-chairs of the fundraising committee, held a meeting to discuss the upcoming Poker Tournament.  Joining us was Melissa, Cathy, and Kiley with Plan Ahead Events of Chicago.  Melissa and I met at an event a couple of months ago.  She recently contacted me and asked if she could help out with POH/TI or be of service in any way.  The timing couldn’t have been more perfect as we’ve been bouncing around some ideas for the Poker Tournament.  I can tell already that this event will be fun, successful, inspirational, and Totally Impactful. 

Contact Kelly or Sarah if you’d like to help out.

These are the questions that were presented to the girls:

1. Tell us about your first experience with death. Who died? When? What did you know about death before the event and what did you come to learn about death after the event?

2. Spend a few minutes looking in a mirror. Stare at your reflection and then write about what you see. Describe yourself in detail. Try to imagine you are looking at a stranger. What assumptions would you make from this person’s appearance?

3. Write about an illuminating moment in your life, a time when you learned an important lesson or gained an important insight. Try to describe it exactly as it happened.

4. Write about your family members—living or dead, close or not close. Who do/did you most enjoy being with and why and who do/did you least enjoy being with and why?

Robinah, Pauline, and Blake, have the girls each pick at least one question to answer. They are certainly welcome to do more if they wish. Help them if they need it, like showing them how to explore and communicate the details and such, but don’t assist their actual answers too much. I want them to be wholly their own.
Thanks!
*******************************************************************************************

This response is from one of our girls in the Total Impact House. (I will be sharing more of them with you once they are translated.)

Age:16

1. My first experience about death was in 2005 when my mother, who had gone to the garden to harvest sim-sim, was attacked to death by the rebels of the Lord’s Resistance Army led by Joseph Kony. I was only 11 years old and when the news about my mother’s death was broken to me, I became suicidal and wanted to fall in a nearby river to drown so that I would die and follow my mother. This thought came to my mind because my mother was my only hope in life after I lost my father at the age of 7.

b – Before my mother’s death, I thought of death as a long sleep somebody would have, and that they would wake up after some time. I learned after mom’s death that death is not simply a deep sleep, and that when somebody dies, they go forever disappear.

2. What I saw in a mirror: I have black hair, am brown in color, small bodied, and beautiful

b – the assumption I make from a stranger’s appearance is: totally different from mine by all looks in the head and body. To me, a stranger is bigger than me in body.

3. An illuminating moment in my life was in 2003 when I was abducted by the rebels of the LRA, and lived in captivity for 2 years. While in captivity I was tortured in lots of ways, and am traumatized by participating in torturing other especially those who attempted to escape. I once was forced with other girls to horribly bite a girl that tried to escape, as punishment. I was shot in an ambush and I have a bullet in my leg. I learned one would be killed because Joseph Kony predicted it, but I would escape and indeed I escaped.

b – I learned that God has a hand / plan in everything in one’s life, where good or bad. When I returned from captivity, I was blessed to be supported by 2 organizations because I was affected by the war.

In keeping with Ugandan tradition, the holidays is a time to leave the big cities, and head to home villages to be with family. Our the girls headed out on December 22nd to their various villages surrounding Gulu, and spent a week celebrating with extended families. Our mentor Oliver made her way to Western Uganda, where she had a special reunion with her family, seeing them for the first time in 5 years.

Christmas is a time for feasting with family, and with a bountiful rainy season winding down, the harvest was plentiful, and indeed the feasts abundant. Not all of the girls had home situations which were suitable for visits, so some of them stayed in Gulu and joined Beatrice with her family to celebrate Christmas and New Years.

The girls returned to the home on 2nd January, resuming the numerous activities taking place in the home. Singing and Traditonal Dance continue to be favorites, with such dances as Larakaraka (courtship dance), lakubukubu (wedding dance), Naa (leisure dance), and mailyel (burial dance).

With Beatrice leading the way, the tailoring training has progressed nicely and the girls are currently sewing table cloths. The manual sewing machine is tuned up and running well, and the electric machine presents and exciting challenge for the girls with experience primarily on the manual machines.

Knitting is another favorite therapeutic activity, allowing the girls to chat and open up, relaxed by the rhythmic activity.

Janet, our beadmaking teacher, recently returned from Kampala, and is preparing to begin training sessions with the girls. There is a huge need for alternative income sources for the girls involved in the outreach program, and beadmaking presents a great initial step in that direction.

The outreach program continues to grow, as every Tuesday 35-40 girls from the community gather to spend the afternoon together, and wait their turn for 1 on 1 counseling with Pauline and Oliver. We’re continuing to witness great needs from these girls, challenging us continue to search for ways to assist.

The new school term is just around the corner, so the girls and mentors are scouting out local day schools, and beginning the application process. We’re encouraging as many girls as possible to further their formal education, as it will open up doors, but also respect that the best fit for many will be vocational training. English, reading, and basic mathematics continue to be taught in the home, as these skills will be vital for their economic success and independence.

Better late than never! It’s been almost a month since asking the girls their high points and low points of the week. Our original group answered, save for Grace. She’s been staying with extended family as she anticipates her baby’s due date. As for the others, they’ve continued to acclimate themselves to the program’s daily activities and care for the home and property.

Over the past few weeks, the girls also welcomed six more sisters and answered the subsequent question: What is your wish for this Christmas? When he emailed, Blake apologized for the predictability and uniformity of their answers. As you can see, there’s an obvious homogeny in the responses, but unless one is familiar with Ugandan customs and traditions, it’d be hard to forecast such a simple and practical Christmas wish. We granted their requests and each girl, plus Pauline, Oliver, and Beatrice, were given an allowance to shop and pick out new Christmas clothes and shoes.

Pauline also emailed and reported that several of the POH girls will be visiting relatives in their respective villages over the holiday. The girls that don’t have families, or those whose safety could be jeopardized by visiting them, will continue to stay in Gulu and celebrate Christmas with local mentors.

Purse of Hope’s Christmas wish is that our girls pour what they’ve learned thus far into the lives of those they’ll be with. They now represent a new hope. Being bathed in a positive environment where love and endless possibilities have replaced mere survival can’t help but have ongoing ripple effects. I can’t wait to hear the reports!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Christmas wish answers…

Angel: I would like clothes and shoes for the reason that during Christmas everybody must be smart looking.

Jacky: I want clothes and shoes. I want to be smart like others because during Christmas everybody puts on new clothes.

Byanka: I want clothes and shoes because last year at Christmas I didn’t put on new clothes and couldn’t buy any.

Gloria: I want clothes and shoes because I want to be smart like others during Christmas.

Joyce: I want transport for going to the village to see my child and if possible to get clothes for my child.

Brenda: I want clothes and shoes because there’s no one who can buy them for me.

Oliver: I would like to say happy Christmas and prosperous New Year to you Total Attorneys and I would like to thank the Almighty Father for the gift of life and for the gift of what I am doing now, that is the job. As you will be leaving us in Uganda (Blake) I pray to the Almighty Father to bestow blessing upon you to continue having us in mind wherever you are going. Let St. Christopher who is the patron saint of all travelers be with you and to lead you till the time you will be back to us again. I would like you to send my regards to my mother Kristen that I wish her well during this Christmas season. As I will be going to celebrate Christmas festival with my family, I request for your help if possible to help me with a Christmas package. Thanks

Concy: My Christmas wish is having new clothes and shoes. I hope for them this Christmas because my uncle could not buy them for me last Christmas.

Scovia: My wish is having new clothes and shoes for Christmas because I want to be smartly dressed like everyone else.

Beatrice: I want to acquire new clothes and shoes because I want to be in the community/family.

Annet: My wish is having new clothes and shoes this Christmas because I had no one to buy them for me last Christmas.

Pauline: One behalf of the Purse of Hope and on my own behalf I take this opportunity to say a BIG THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE, CARE, SUPPORT AND ABOVE ALL FOR YOUR KIND HEART. WE LOVE YOU KRISTEN AND TOTAL ATTORNEYS! MAY YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES HAVE A BLESSED CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! LONG LIVE KRISTEN AND TOTAL ATTORNEYS!

The “high point and low point of your week” answers:

Joyce- The highest point was when I chose last Sunday as my first day of fasting, yet I had never done it before, for the reason that I know it will increase my faith in God. The lowest point is that I took tea with sweet potatoes, which made it even sweeter.

Agnes- My highest point was when I enjoyed the traditional dance coupled with devotions and bible study. The reason is that it reminded me of my old school days. The lowest point was walking barefooted when my sandal got torn off and the stone pressed my feet. Besides that my body reacted to the Vaseline I used.

Jacky- My highest point was learning to sing gospel and traditional songs and dances because it makes my body physically fit. My lowest point was that when I slashed the compound, because my thumb began to ache.

Concy- My highest point was sitting for my primary six end of year exams, because it made me happy. My lowest point was visting the village and my mother went to the hospital to take care of a sick relative in the hospital and I remained at home alone with all the responsibility of taking care of young ones and cooking.

Blake- My highpoint this week was finishing the 10k MTN race on Sunday. It’s been a long year of rehabilitation and recuperation from a severe heel injury I suffered while riding motorcycle taxi (called bodas here in Uganda) last December. I was able to join several good friends for the run, and their encouragement helped spur me on! I’m very thankful to still be able to run, as it’s a passion I’ve enjoyed from youth.
My low point this week was having to say goodbye to some friends I’ve made here in Uganda, not knowing if or when we’d see each other again. Facebook certainly ameliorates these situations, but it’s still a bummer. One of the most difficult things about living here is that after getting to know and become friends with some of the most amazing people you could hope to meet in life, you often have to say goodbye, as they head back to their lives back home.

Pauline- My high point this week was having Bianca move into the house and going to meet the sister who was able to sign the consent form, after I reasoned with her. It’s best for her, and I felt good about being able to convince her. Another high point was my father coming to Gulu.
My low point is that some of the girls complain of stomach aches, and when they’re sick I feel depressed as a mother who’s child is sick. It seems they get sick in turns. Also, my father is sick, and had to come to stay with me. Seeing them sick is difficult, and I don’t feel happy as a child seeing him feel sick.

We now officially have eleven girls residing in the Total Impact House! (One of the girls is absent from the picture, she was not feeling well.)  The last month has been an arduous one for Blake and Pauline as they traversed a seemingly endless mountain of legal and social impediments. Persistence prevailed, however, and six more girls are free from a life of prostitution. 

One of the biggest problems we face is the potential beneficiary’s loss of income.  The money they’re making via prostitution is often the primary source of income for an entire family.  If the girls don’t already have children, they have younger siblings, unemployed parents, or even extended family members to support. Sadly, seizing the opportunity to flee from a life of sexual exploitation is considerably more complex than it should be.

For example, one of the girls in the POH outreach program, regrettably, declined Pauline’s invitation to stay at the house.  She is fifteen and cares for her twelve year old sister and ailing grandmother.  If she entered the program, she explained, her grandmother would then force her younger sister to start selling herself.  Sacrificing her own body in order to save her sister from selling hers, she chose to turn down the offer of safety, healing, and an education.  Thankfully, she continues to meet with Pauline for counseling and participates in the outreach program’s activities.

While her story represents the majority, there are girls able to break free.  We are grateful for our six new sisters—grateful their circumstances were not insurmountable and they can make the most of this new opportunity.  

Welcome home girls!